I wipe until the paper comes back clean, at a not-too-hasty tempo.
A bit of planning what to do after I get out of there too, and a bit of daydreaming too I guess (You know how you can get stuck in the shower for way longer than you thought you were in there? Same applies to daydreaming in general I guess).
Just asking cause when my painkillers constipated me for 17 days, I was put on 2 bisacodyl at night and by the next morning I was shitting. They're amazing for making you shit, lol. Nothing else seemed to work but they were mostly stool softener laxatives
Sometimes it's quick, sometimes it takes ages depending on what I've been eating, I guess.
When pooping is slow I tend to offer myself some encouragement, muttering phrases such as 'come on, lets poo' and 'here we go' to myself. Sometimes I'll sing myself a little ditty. A current favourite is 'Here Comes a Poo' to the tune of 'Here Comes The Sun'. Also works for wee.
I have irritable bowel syndrome if you must know. Sometimes it’s a quick and clean plop and go, and other times I’m lying on the floor for 10 minutes naked soaked in sweat almost passing out from the agonising pain in my stomach and thinking I might actually die.